[Again. Again and again and again and again. He takes the blame. He apologizes to him, without a fight. Why? This is the one person he knows who doesn't back down to anyone. Not a perverted, sick yet well-renowned teacher, not a scumbag fraudulent artist, not a don, not the CEO of one of the world's most successful corporations, not the prospective and popular minister elect of Japan. There was not a force in the world that could keep him down.
And yet he concedes to Akechi. He allows him to hurt him, again and again and again. Akechi keeps pushing him away and he just keeps coming back. Akechi keeps fighting him and instead of fighting back, he submits. Akechi keeps attacking him, tearing open old wounds again and again and again, and he just accepts it.
Why?
For a long time he just stares at that message, trying to decipher this. Trying to figure this out. What the hell was Akira doing all this for? Why was he making himself suffer so much at Akechi's hands?
All he had to do
was turn away
from this disaster
and forget him.
All he had to do
was to stop talking to Akechi
to stop interacting with him
and this cycle of pain would end.
It was so simple.
Like clicking the cross on the upper right-hand corner of a browser.
Like swiping a finger to close an application on a phone.
Don't be naive, Kurusu-san. I killed the mother of one of your thieves and the father of another.
In fact, I would bet that you are the only one of your entire group who would continue to insist helping me.
[He doesn't deny that many of them had extended a hand even after the fight was over, but that and actively going out of your way to help someone, as Kurusu was doing, were two completely different things.]
There is willing to try to understand, and then there is fighting a losing battle with someone who isn't interested in rebuilding burned bridges.
[He's not. He'd barely tolerated Akira as it was, and then after that conversation? Well. It'd hurt so much more than he was ever willing to admit to himself, let alone to Akira.
[But it isn't about Kurusu, is it? No, he's well aware of just how difficult he's being. And he knows that one day, he will give up, and that will be that, and it will be better for everyone involved.]
He blinks, because that's not his family name, and yet it already feels so familiar in his mind. Like it would be wrong to call him by anything else. It's a frustrating feeling, and makes him want to deliberately distance himself all the more just out of spite for whatever it was that had caused them to feel the way they had.
. . .]
I'm at home. Let me know when you arrive.
[And once Kurama arrives, he opens the door. He's decided to wear some more casual clothes today. His left hand is also pressed up against his chest, and in his palm rests a small, pink bunny.
He seems tense for a moment, not sure what to make of this situation or of Kurama— at least he knew Akira prior to imbibing that drink, though that made things awkward in its own way. Eventually, though, he relents, nodding and stepping aside to allow the other man in.]
[...oh. That- sure is an outfit. Definitely a Goro Akechi original. There's a brief flicker in green eyes, a look of fond, amused exasperation, before it's stomped out and replaced by a less intimate, friendly warmth. The last thing he wants is to make that awkward tension worse.
Though his jumpsuit has also been replaced; he's wearing a simple, long-sleeved white shirt and a pair of black bondage pants. He has his device in one hand and what looks like a flap of cardboard from a box repurposed into a folder in the other. He's already tapping away as he steps inside.]
Good afternoon. My original clothes were returned today, but there was something else in the box that... well, you should see it rather than me telling you.
[He offers Goro -Akechi?- the makeshift folder. His eyes flick to the bunny after that.]
...so you ended up with one of them, too? They're odd little creatures.
[He closes the door behind Kurama, then blinks, reaching out and taking the makeshift folder. He eyes it with confusion— like a long while ago, the natives have given someone something which was not theirs. But he can't help but know that both people knew exactly who the item belonged to... His brow furrows in suspicion.
Quietly, he comes over to the couch to sit down, gently depositing his peep on his lap.]
Cute, aren't they? I've never had a pet before.
[With both his hands now free, he moves to open the folder.]
[Honestly, Kurama finds it more than a little convenient, too. He isn't sure that anyone here but him and Goro himself would be able to instantly recognize who this belonged to.
He walks over to sit next to the other young man, close but not touching, a very carefully chosen distance.]
I suppose they are, they just confuse me a bit. Rabbits are usually terrified of me.
[One hand goes to his hair, but instead of coming out with a rose this time, he catches another peep and pulls it out of hiding, fur a shade of red that blends in with his hair.]
[He pauses and looks over, giving a blink. Oh, he... where did it come from? He wasn't paying attention. But he does notice it is... almost the exact shade of his hair, how peculiar.
He wonders briefly why rabbits would be afraid of Kurama as he opens up the folder, seeing the turned over photo. His brow creases slightly in confusion, and he grabs it, flipping it over—
immediately, shock floods his face. His breath abruptly cuts off. He stares in utter disbelief of the picture that is undoubtedly himself as a child... with his late mother. Unconsciously, tears start to well in his vision, and his hand trembles briefly. Absently, he moves his hand to set the folder off to the side, his eyes not once moving from the picture. Abruptly, some part of his brain remembers that the peeps become violent if exposed to water, and he scoops it up with his free hand and moves it in Kurama's direction, all but pushing it into his own lap.
His breath hitches slightly, then, trying to force the reactions down. It's already far more vulnerability than he normally shows in front of anyone... Thickly, he swallows, stubbornly trying to blink the tears away... and finally, he picks up that folder again and places the photo back in it, carefully closing it.
Deep breaths. Steady. Calm. He brings up his hands once he's sure they're not trembling anymore.]
Thank you for getting this to me.
[He falters suddenly. Did Kurama... know? Did he already know his mother died because she took her life because of him?]
I'll be right back.
[He takes the folder and heads for the stairs, to his room. He just... needs a moment...]
[That reaction is exactly why Kurama wanted to let him find out about the photo in person instead of through a text when he might be alone. Kurama gathers in the peep being pushed at him, letting the two miniature buns sniff at each other curiously. One hand corrals them gently in his lap.
The other reaches to touch Akechi's shoulder, just a little hesitant, uncertain if the gesture will be welcome, but concerned. Even though this isn't the same Goro Akechi, the idea of ignoring this show of emotion is almost repulsive.
Kurama doesn't doubt that too many people have done that already in his life.]
Go- No, you'll probably prefer Akechi now, won't you? This...wasn't any trouble for me. Certainly not against how important this could be to you.
[If this were his Goro, Kurama would follow him. But it's not, and so he pushes down the instinct to be there for him, and waits on the couch, distractedly stroking the peeps. Reminding himself both that he was starting more or less from square one, and that the end goal was friendship this time.]
[Akechi takes a solid five minutes in his bedroom, looking at the picture. Misses this beautiful, caring, warm figure that was his mother, one of the very few people that made him feel like home. Yet he inevitably ruined her life and drove her to her early grave... all just by existing.
It should not be him here, getting a second chance. It should be her. She deserved her life... not Akechi, whose hands were drenched in blood. The longer he looks at the picture... the more reality hurts. But at least... now he's been refreshed on just what she looks like.
Finally, he returns to the living room. Kurama is... still here, of course. Quietly, he walks over, and takes a seat next to him again, leaning back heavily into the couch. His gaze is distant.
He lifts up his hands, and signs.]
Did you know? She killed herself because of me.
[As he lowers his hands he just looks... tired. Tired of being a burden. A curse. Have things even really gotten better, between him and Akira? As much as logic dictates yes, in some ways they still feel so far apart. In some ways, he feels like he's still a curse, still making Akira's life harder than easier.
He draws his legs up on the couch, wraps his arms around them, then lets his forehead rest on his knees with a heavy sigh. One hand comes up.]
...I'm not sure you really want to know how much I know, Akechi-kun. Particularly not right now. In any case, I'd be foolish, and doing you a disservice, to assume everything I know applies.
[Kurama has already seen proof that this Goro Akechi is different from his, after all. He didn't pun back. Even so, that tired expression tugs at his heart.
He doesn't bother trying to give the pink peep back to the Akechiball sitting next to him, leaving it to lay with his on his lap.
Gently, his hand catches Akechi's and folds the fingers shut, the sign language equivalent to hushing someone.]
You don't need to apologize for being in pain. You're human, you've been reminded of a great loss, and it hurts. There is nothing wrong with that. I can go if you want to be alone, or stay if you don't. I want to help, in whatever way you need from me.
[He stays like that for a few moments, breath catching a tiny bit when his hand is gently closed. The gesture is so... kind and warm... Akechi wants to...
He just wants to stop being so afraid of companionship, for once. Wants to stop being afraid that people are going to hurt him, as soon as he lets down his walls... he's tired, and Kurama is offering support... Apparently, he knows so much about him, and yet... here he is. Helping him, comforting him, caring about him... if he truly knew so much... does that mean he accepts his darker side?
It's too soon, and too dangerous to say. But he does turn his head so he can read his message, and that... hurts too. Those kind words... the gentle look. He so badly wants to melt into it, though Kurama is just an effective stranger.
He's so weak to kindness...
I want to help, in whatever way you need from me.
He stares at those last words, conflict rife in his eyes. The pain of the aftermath of the dust echoes in his heart. Once again, he had no one he could depend on. Because he would not let himself.
Maybe things need to change.
... it's a risky move. He doesn't know Kurama well. But his heart aches, and the rose he was given sits in his room in a glass. But for once... he can take a chance. It... won't even matter that much if he ends up being wrong, right? He barely knows Kurama. . .
...
So he scoots closer, letting their shoulders brush together. The hand not being held raises up.]
Please stay.
[It doesn't have to mean anything. Akechi is just... he's just lonely and feeling weak and wants reassurance and Kurama is offering it to him, it doesn't mean he has to trust him or... or... this is too much, isn't it? Even though he knows an Akechi, he's still a veritable stranger. Haha, christ, look at him, falling apart over a single photo... His body tenses and he looks away, half-bracing to be aggressively rejected...]
[Kurama was half-braced to be brushed off and sent away. Akechi is in a vulnerable place and Kurama is essentially a stranger who knows too much.
So he is caught by surprise and yet dangerously relieved when Akechi's shoulder settles against his. When his phone translates the gestures into a request that he stay. He knows he shouldn't be getting close to Akechi, but he does not have it in him to turn away from the boy's pain.
He lets go of Akechi's hand, but only to slide his arm gently around Akechi's shoulders instead. It's not quite a hug, but it's not entirely not, either, and it's a clear, open gesture of support.]
[Ah, he's... accepted. Welcomed, even, and some part of him subconsciously just... relaxes. Maybe a lingering side-effect of the dust? Either way, he'll admit it's perhaps... a bit out of character for him, to trust a veritable stranger like this?
But he's tired. Tired of fighting all the time. Maybe this wasn't the time to give in, but something about Kurama... draws him in. Something in his gaze makes him want to melt into this support. Quick glimpses of a warm, deep affection.
... exactly... what was the other him to Kurama...? If he knows as much as he suggests... surely this must be a trap?
Those kinds of thoughts just have him instinctively curling in on himself more, like he wants to trust Kurama and yet some instinctive part of him still fears. He's so used to being surrounded by people who manipulated and lied on a daily basis. It's only after meeting the thieves, and subsequently coming here, that he's gotten to know people who didn't seem to have ulterior motives... Akira being the most significant influence.
And still his heart thrums with nervousness. He's so unused to being vulnerable like this, and he abruptly remembers why he would avoid it at all costs. It's... terrifying? But he refuses to move from this spot, almost as if he's trying to prove to himself that not everyone is out to get him. That he doesn't have to spend weeks upon weeks getting to know someone before he lets his walls down a little. That it's not going to utterly blow up in his face.
For once, he just honestly wants to believe in someone's good intentions without worrying about ulterior motives...]
[Kurama can feel the shifting levels of tension under his arm. And he can't help but wonder if Akechi is pushing himself too far. But he has to let that be Akechi's choice to make, because he can't imagine a version of him so different that he doesn't desperately need agency and some control over his own life.
He asked Kurama to stay, and Kurama won't dispute or second-guess his choice. He lets his hand run gently along Akechi's shoulder, a gesture meant to soothe. He doesn't quite dare pull him into a full hug, for fear he'll feel too confined.
It's morbidly funny, that he can't comfort Goro Akechi the same way he would comfort Goro Akechi.
He sets his device aside and curls the newly freed hand gently around Akechi's, just loose enough that he could pull it free if he wanted to.]
[Each gentle gesture is a warm balm of reassurance. Every moment he allows Akechi feels stolen, but so incredibly cathartic. It's... no wonder it felt so good when all his inhibitions were stripped away from him; he needed the physical contact and comfort from someone who meant him no harm.
He doesn't know how long he's allowed, but at least for the moment? He's... actually starting to genuinely relax. And so he'll allow himself awhile of just... resting here, against Kurama. Against someone he still knows so little about, but somehow gives off an aura of trustworthiness, of sincere intentions...
It must be that look he was given... no one would give a look like that to someone they would hurt, right? He... supposes it's possible, technically, but for the moment? He's chancing disregarding that possibility. He's uncurled from his defensive position, and actually. . . calm.
Eventually, when he does pull away, he seems... to be much more at ease. He even offers a small smile, slightly shy, as he signs to Kurama:]
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timeasmymeasure
un: purrusu | day 15
Date: 2018-01-28 01:22 am (UTC)just sighs
Date: 2018-02-13 06:14 pm (UTC)what's cooler than being cool...............
Date: 2018-02-14 03:22 am (UTC)having enough money to support your family
Date: 2018-02-14 03:47 am (UTC)akECHI...
Date: 2018-02-14 03:54 am (UTC)Frankly, he knows he deserves that even if only due to his incredibly awful wording. ]
How are you?
Really?
having custody over my kids, seeing my wife again, living in a house, having money to pay for food
Date: 2018-02-16 01:59 am (UTC)[har har.]
Why bother asking at all?
shakes u????
Date: 2018-02-18 05:38 am (UTC)... I'm sorry, Akechi.
[ He. Wanted to say that in person...
... but... ]
alright alright alright alright?
Date: 2018-02-18 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-18 06:05 am (UTC)This isn't pity.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-18 06:20 am (UTC)After all, I was just an unfortunate, insignificant pawn caught in the crossfire of something so much more important.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-18 06:31 am (UTC)The situation we're in is no excuse, and neither is what happened just before that talk.
You have every right to be angry at me and never trust me again.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-18 06:55 am (UTC)And yet he concedes to Akechi. He allows him to hurt him, again and again and again. Akechi keeps pushing him away and he just keeps coming back. Akechi keeps fighting him and instead of fighting back, he submits. Akechi keeps attacking him, tearing open old wounds again and again and again, and he just accepts it.
Why?
For a long time he just stares at that message, trying to decipher this. Trying to figure this out. What the hell was Akira doing all this for? Why was he making himself suffer so much at Akechi's hands?
All he had to do
was turn away
from this disaster
and forget him.
All he had to do
was to stop talking to Akechi
to stop interacting with him
and this cycle of pain would end.
It was so simple.
Like clicking the cross on the upper right-hand corner of a browser.
Like swiping a finger to close an application on a phone.
Like closing a door.
Like turning around and walking off.
That's all he had to do.
For a split second, there's a lapse of judgment.]
Why?
1/???
Date: 2018-02-18 07:45 am (UTC)and: ]
Everything I said came out wrong from the point I was trying to get across to you.
2/???
Date: 2018-02-18 07:46 am (UTC)I'd wanted to emphasize that we wouldn't be doing all of the work.
3/???????
Date: 2018-02-18 07:49 am (UTC)We all shared the burden with destroying each of our own shackles.
So, of course we'd help you!
.... nope there's still more after this
Date: 2018-02-18 07:51 am (UTC)There's no doubt in my mind that all of the other thieves would agree...
5 to represent...???? (aka DONE)
Date: 2018-02-18 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-20 01:58 am (UTC)In fact, I would bet that you are the only one of your entire group who would continue to insist helping me.
[He doesn't deny that many of them had extended a hand even after the fight was over, but that and actively going out of your way to help someone, as Kurusu was doing, were two completely different things.]
no subject
Date: 2018-02-20 06:41 am (UTC)They're willing to try understanding everything you've been through... just like me.
How can I help you or even fully understand you, if you keep shutting me out?
no subject
Date: 2018-02-22 04:07 pm (UTC)[He's not. He'd barely tolerated Akira as it was, and then after that conversation? Well. It'd hurt so much more than he was ever willing to admit to himself, let alone to Akira.
... he doesn't want to hurt like that again.]
no subject
Date: 2018-02-22 04:13 pm (UTC)It would only be a losing battle if I gave up.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-22 04:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-22 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-23 12:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-23 11:28 am (UTC)I guess I shouldn't be surprised you make a habit of seeing the worst in me.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-24 03:54 am (UTC)So, did you need anything else?
no subject
Date: 2018-02-24 03:56 am (UTC)Have a good night.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-24 03:57 am (UTC)Goodnight.
[This was what he wanted, right?]
un: foxtales | Dated 4/4
Date: 2018-04-06 04:34 am (UTC)I seem to have accidentally received an item meant for you. I definitely think you should have it as soon as possible.
[He's seen a picture of Goro's mother before. Not this same picture, but it's still more than recognizable.]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-07 05:30 pm (UTC)He blinks, because that's not his family name, and yet it already feels so familiar in his mind. Like it would be wrong to call him by anything else. It's a frustrating feeling, and makes him want to deliberately distance himself all the more just out of spite for whatever it was that had caused them to feel the way they had.
. . .]
I'm at home. Let me know when you arrive.
[And once Kurama arrives, he opens the door. He's decided to wear some more casual clothes today. His left hand is also pressed up against his chest, and in his palm rests a small, pink bunny.
He seems tense for a moment, not sure what to make of this situation or of Kurama— at least he knew Akira prior to imbibing that drink, though that made things awkward in its own way. Eventually, though, he relents, nodding and stepping aside to allow the other man in.]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-08 03:51 am (UTC)Though his jumpsuit has also been replaced; he's wearing a simple, long-sleeved white shirt and a pair of black bondage pants. He has his device in one hand and what looks like a flap of cardboard from a box repurposed into a folder in the other. He's already tapping away as he steps inside.]
Good afternoon. My original clothes were returned today, but there was something else in the box that... well, you should see it rather than me telling you.
[He offers Goro -Akechi?- the makeshift folder. His eyes flick to the bunny after that.]
...so you ended up with one of them, too? They're odd little creatures.
no subject
Date: 2018-04-10 08:12 pm (UTC)Quietly, he comes over to the couch to sit down, gently depositing his peep on his lap.]
Cute, aren't they? I've never had a pet before.
[With both his hands now free, he moves to open the folder.]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-11 07:45 pm (UTC)He walks over to sit next to the other young man, close but not touching, a very carefully chosen distance.]
I suppose they are, they just confuse me a bit. Rabbits are usually terrified of me.
[One hand goes to his hair, but instead of coming out with a rose this time, he catches another peep and pulls it out of hiding, fur a shade of red that blends in with his hair.]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-14 05:31 am (UTC)He wonders briefly why rabbits would be afraid of Kurama as he opens up the folder, seeing the turned over photo. His brow creases slightly in confusion, and he grabs it, flipping it over—
immediately, shock floods his face. His breath abruptly cuts off. He stares in utter disbelief of the picture that is undoubtedly himself as a child... with his late mother. Unconsciously, tears start to well in his vision, and his hand trembles briefly. Absently, he moves his hand to set the folder off to the side, his eyes not once moving from the picture. Abruptly, some part of his brain remembers that the peeps become violent if exposed to water, and he scoops it up with his free hand and moves it in Kurama's direction, all but pushing it into his own lap.
His breath hitches slightly, then, trying to force the reactions down. It's already far more vulnerability than he normally shows in front of anyone... Thickly, he swallows, stubbornly trying to blink the tears away... and finally, he picks up that folder again and places the photo back in it, carefully closing it.
Deep breaths. Steady. Calm. He brings up his hands once he's sure they're not trembling anymore.]
Thank you for getting this to me.
[He falters suddenly. Did Kurama... know? Did he already know his mother died because she took her life because of him?]
I'll be right back.
[He takes the folder and heads for the stairs, to his room. He just... needs a moment...]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-18 12:15 am (UTC)The other reaches to touch Akechi's shoulder, just a little hesitant, uncertain if the gesture will be welcome, but concerned. Even though this isn't the same Goro Akechi, the idea of ignoring this show of emotion is almost repulsive.
Kurama doesn't doubt that too many people have done that already in his life.]
Go- No, you'll probably prefer Akechi now, won't you? This...wasn't any trouble for me. Certainly not against how important this could be to you.
[If this were his Goro, Kurama would follow him. But it's not, and so he pushes down the instinct to be there for him, and waits on the couch, distractedly stroking the peeps. Reminding himself both that he was starting more or less from square one, and that the end goal was friendship this time.]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-21 12:59 am (UTC)It should not be him here, getting a second chance. It should be her. She deserved her life... not Akechi, whose hands were drenched in blood. The longer he looks at the picture... the more reality hurts. But at least... now he's been refreshed on just what she looks like.
Finally, he returns to the living room. Kurama is... still here, of course. Quietly, he walks over, and takes a seat next to him again, leaning back heavily into the couch. His gaze is distant.
He lifts up his hands, and signs.]
Did you know? She killed herself because of me.
[As he lowers his hands he just looks... tired. Tired of being a burden. A curse. Have things even really gotten better, between him and Akira? As much as logic dictates yes, in some ways they still feel so far apart. In some ways, he feels like he's still a curse, still making Akira's life harder than easier.
He draws his legs up on the couch, wraps his arms around them, then lets his forehead rest on his knees with a heavy sigh. One hand comes up.]
Sorry.
[He's not exactly pleasant company right now.]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-21 01:55 am (UTC)[Kurama has already seen proof that this Goro Akechi is different from his, after all. He didn't pun back. Even so, that tired expression tugs at his heart.
He doesn't bother trying to give the pink peep back to the Akechiball sitting next to him, leaving it to lay with his on his lap.
Gently, his hand catches Akechi's and folds the fingers shut, the sign language equivalent to hushing someone.]
You don't need to apologize for being in pain. You're human, you've been reminded of a great loss, and it hurts. There is nothing wrong with that. I can go if you want to be alone, or stay if you don't. I want to help, in whatever way you need from me.
no subject
Date: 2018-04-23 08:06 pm (UTC)He just wants to stop being so afraid of companionship, for once. Wants to stop being afraid that people are going to hurt him, as soon as he lets down his walls... he's tired, and Kurama is offering support... Apparently, he knows so much about him, and yet... here he is. Helping him, comforting him, caring about him... if he truly knew so much... does that mean he accepts his darker side?
It's too soon, and too dangerous to say. But he does turn his head so he can read his message, and that... hurts too. Those kind words... the gentle look. He so badly wants to melt into it, though Kurama is just an effective stranger.
He's so weak to kindness...
I want to help, in whatever way you need from me.
He stares at those last words, conflict rife in his eyes. The pain of the aftermath of the dust echoes in his heart. Once again, he had no one he could depend on. Because he would not let himself.
Maybe things need to change.
... it's a risky move. He doesn't know Kurama well. But his heart aches, and the rose he was given sits in his room in a glass. But for once... he can take a chance. It... won't even matter that much if he ends up being wrong, right? He barely knows Kurama. . .
...
So he scoots closer, letting their shoulders brush together. The hand not being held raises up.]
Please stay.
[It doesn't have to mean anything. Akechi is just... he's just lonely and feeling weak and wants reassurance and Kurama is offering it to him, it doesn't mean he has to trust him or... or... this is too much, isn't it? Even though he knows an Akechi, he's still a veritable stranger. Haha, christ, look at him, falling apart over a single photo... His body tenses and he looks away, half-bracing to be aggressively rejected...]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-24 06:29 am (UTC)So he is caught by surprise and yet dangerously relieved when Akechi's shoulder settles against his. When his phone translates the gestures into a request that he stay. He knows he shouldn't be getting close to Akechi, but he does not have it in him to turn away from the boy's pain.
He lets go of Akechi's hand, but only to slide his arm gently around Akechi's shoulders instead. It's not quite a hug, but it's not entirely not, either, and it's a clear, open gesture of support.]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-28 05:37 am (UTC)But he's tired. Tired of fighting all the time. Maybe this wasn't the time to give in, but something about Kurama... draws him in. Something in his gaze makes him want to melt into this support. Quick glimpses of a warm, deep affection.
... exactly... what was the other him to Kurama...? If he knows as much as he suggests... surely this must be a trap?
Those kinds of thoughts just have him instinctively curling in on himself more, like he wants to trust Kurama and yet some instinctive part of him still fears. He's so used to being surrounded by people who manipulated and lied on a daily basis. It's only after meeting the thieves, and subsequently coming here, that he's gotten to know people who didn't seem to have ulterior motives... Akira being the most significant influence.
And still his heart thrums with nervousness. He's so unused to being vulnerable like this, and he abruptly remembers why he would avoid it at all costs. It's... terrifying? But he refuses to move from this spot, almost as if he's trying to prove to himself that not everyone is out to get him. That he doesn't have to spend weeks upon weeks getting to know someone before he lets his walls down a little. That it's not going to utterly blow up in his face.
For once, he just honestly wants to believe in someone's good intentions without worrying about ulterior motives...]
no subject
Date: 2018-05-17 05:01 am (UTC)He asked Kurama to stay, and Kurama won't dispute or second-guess his choice. He lets his hand run gently along Akechi's shoulder, a gesture meant to soothe. He doesn't quite dare pull him into a full hug, for fear he'll feel too confined.
It's morbidly funny, that he can't comfort Goro Akechi the same way he would comfort Goro Akechi.
He sets his device aside and curls the newly freed hand gently around Akechi's, just loose enough that he could pull it free if he wanted to.]
no subject
Date: 2018-05-23 04:34 am (UTC)He doesn't know how long he's allowed, but at least for the moment? He's... actually starting to genuinely relax. And so he'll allow himself awhile of just... resting here, against Kurama. Against someone he still knows so little about, but somehow gives off an aura of trustworthiness, of sincere intentions...
It must be that look he was given... no one would give a look like that to someone they would hurt, right? He... supposes it's possible, technically, but for the moment? He's chancing disregarding that possibility. He's uncurled from his defensive position, and actually. . . calm.
Eventually, when he does pull away, he seems... to be much more at ease. He even offers a small smile, slightly shy, as he signs to Kurama:]
Thank you.